The 3 Things Atomic Habits Got Wrong

An Open Apology to The Guys Who Flex In Front of The Mirror at The Gym

Today I’ll share with you what the New York Time #1 Best Seller Atomic Habits got wrong, the trick social media uses to get you to keep you coming back, and why I owe an apology to the guys who flex in front of the mirror at the gym.

The Best Habits Use Positive Feedback Loops

What makes a positive feedback loop so powerful is that it will keep itself going if you just stay out of its way. It doesn't take effort to continue, it takes effort to stop.

Just like when a microphone picks up the sound of its own speakers and that loop starts to make that high-pitched squeal sending shivers down everyone’s spine. All in attendance instinctively know to shut up, because “business as usual” means that noise will get louder and louder until either the sound system is blown out or everyone’s eardrums are.

That system may be annoying for microphones, but it is perfect for forming habits. That is why habits that use positive feedback loops are apex habits. They are so strong and effective that oftentimes moderating the habit becomes more challenging than maintaining it.

Atomic Habits brings up the idea of feedback loops but goes on to make three critical mistakes that make it almost impossible to form one.

Now, before the online lynch mob comes for me with torches and pitchforks in hand for challenging the most beloved self-help book of the 21st century, let me say that Atomic Habits lays out a great system for starting all habits and for keeping small ones (hence the name, Atomic Habits).

However, if you are looking to maintain big life-changing habits or ones that lead to rapid improvements then Atomic Habits is not the best long-term system for you. Here is why.

3 Critical Things Atomic Habits Got Wrong

1. A Positive Feedback Loop Requires a Loop

This is the “Habit Loop” from Atomic Habits.

If you look closely, you’ll notice this isn’t really a loop. This is just a sequence of four steps, with a very clear beginning and end. It looks like a loop because it got put into a circle chart, and you can make anything look like a loop by putting it into a circle chart. See below:

Just because we've all repeated that same sequence of events doesn’t make it a loop.

This is more than just a chart flaw; this is a system flaw. To form a positive feedback loop you’ll need…well, a loop; a chain of events where the first step is also the last.

We don’t need Rewards and Cues, we need, what I call, Reward-Cues (yes, I know that name has all the creativity you would expect from a German accountant). A Reward-Cue is simultaneously the hit of dopamine your brain is begging for as well as the trigger for the next step. Reward-Cues are necessary for forming habits that rely on positive feedback loops.

2. The Best Rewards Flow from The Response

You may think this isn’t a big deal. Why should it matter where a reward comes from?

That’s what I thought too, until after a month when my exercise habit unexpectedly, and yet predictably, turned into this:

In a stroke of lazy-genius, my brain figured out that I could skip step three altogether and still get my reward. (I also added eating candy to step four.)

Since the Reward didn’t naturally follow the Response, I had to have the willpower to withhold the Reward from myself. If my willpower tank was empty, then the result was inevitable.

To avoid this we need to choose a Reward-Cue that flows naturally from the Response.

Of course, there is a catch here. The author of Atomic Habits points out that rewards that flow from the habit usually take too long to see and that can make them work against us in the early stages of a habit.

He is right, but that doesn’t mean natural rewards should be abandoned altogether. While you are starting a new habit and a natural reward won’t work then use a stand-in reward. However, if the habit is worth keeping a natural reward should eventually present itself.

You will level up your habit by switching your focus to the natural reward, not only because it can’t be faked, but because it can also offer feedback.

3. The Best Rewards Provide Feedback

As a species we don’t mind wasting time, but we hate wasting effort. We crave feedback to let us know that our hard work and sacrifices (and by extension - our lives) have a purpose and a meaning.

It is no accident that the ridiculously well-funded social media companies use feedback to get you to form the habit they want. You provide the content and they let you know if it is “good” by updating you on the number of likes, shares, follows, views, and comments. Take away that feedback (think myspace) and watch how quickly people break themselves out of the habit of publicly sharing overly personal information online.

Where we usually go wrong in searching for positive feedback is that we go too big. We want to see some large accomplishment, and when it takes too long to get here we give up. Positive feedback can be hard to find or notice for a brand new habit.

Again, Atomic Habits, avoids that challenge by recommending we use unrelated stand-in rewards that are only tied to keeping the habit and don’t provide feedback. That works well enough for small easy habits, but the strongest habits rely on feedback to measure the smallest victory. You could say, the best habits need…atomic wins. (Alright, that was a terrible play on words - but why do I feel like I should trademark that?)

The Perfect Habit

So knowing all of this what does the perfect long-term habit look like? Well…it looks like the guys who flex in front of the mirror at the gym.

The thought process - I imagine - goes something like this:

1. Reward-Cue -“Wow, I look ripped in the mirror!”

2. Craving - “You know what would be better - looking even more ripped in the mirror!”

3. Response - They lift some more weights and then they go to the mirror for their Reward-Cue; the cycle continues.

Their habit is absolute perfection. They use a Reward-Cue to form an actual loop. That Reward-Cue can only come from performing the Response, and their study of themselves in the mirror, while more than a bit narcistic, provides feedback on the smallest victories from their diet and exercise habits. It is completely self-absorbed, but it is also brilliant.

And so, guys who flex in front of the mirror at the gym, I owe you an apology. I have come to appreciate your genius. From now on, when I see you, I will replace my secret judgment, my eye-rolling, and my condescending glances with admiration and respect. You have found the perfect long-term habit to keep you exercising, and I salute you for that. We should all try to be more like you…kind of.

I am not saying we all need to go flex in front of the mirror at the gym. The truth is that exact habit wouldn’t work for most of us; we are just not geared to appreciate that reward, but we should keep that system in mind as we make our own habits.

Next week I’ll share how we can use positive feedback loops to power our lives, like the son of a German brewer did to become one of the most prolific academic writers of all time.

Thanks for making it to the end of part 2 of this 3-part series on The Power to Control Habits. If you like this article then please like, share, comment, and subscribe.